


Don't try to fix me. I'm not broken

by Julieseven



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Transphobia, supportive boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julieseven/pseuds/Julieseven
Summary: A prompt from my dear daughter-in-law Wyo! It took me close to a year to finally finish it, but here goes!!
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	Don't try to fix me. I'm not broken

David is roaming the streets without knowing where, trying to calm the storm in his head. It’s been months since he saw her, but today couldn’t have been a worse day for an encounter with the person who always makes him feel angry and weak at the same time.

_ What on earth have you done to yourself? You used to be so pretty! ...This is not the child I raised! Why do you have to make things so difficult? … Can’t you just get a grip and be the real you again? There are therapists who can help, you know? _

His mother’s words are ringing in David’s ears as if she were still right next to him, repeating the same sentences over and over. After every time he runs into her, David swears to himself that next time, he’ll stand up to her and tell her to stop talking to him like he’s a petulant child. But then, whenever she’s in front of him again, David barely manages to say a single word, let alone defend himself.

Eventually, David is standing in front of Matteo’s flatshare, only realising where he is once he’s already rung the doorbell. For a second, he considers leaving again: a part of him doesn’t want Matteo to see him like this, with red eyes and tear streaks on his cheeks. But then, the intercom cracks and David hears Matteo’s voice greeting him with a cheerful “Hi,” and David can’t walk away anymore.

“It’s me, David,” he croaks, and if Matteo notices the strain in David’s voice, he doesn’t let it on.

“Heeey,” Matteo calls happily and then the door buzzer sounds and David pushes the door open. He walks up the stairs with his heart in his throat. All the way up to the second floor, David has half a mind of running away again, but the second he lays eyes on his boyfriend standing in the doorway, that thought evaporates.

Matteo is leaning at the door frame and steps forward when he sees David, smiling happily. However, David’s favourite smile falters when his eyes meet Matteo’s, and then Matteo’s hands are on David’s face.

“Hey, what happened to you?” Matteo asks softly, the concerned frown on his face making David’s heart hurt. So David closes his eyes and allows Matteo to pull him into his arms. He buries his face at Matteo’s chest, breathing him in. Matteo’s familiar scent somehow makes the remainder of David’s walls crumble, and before he knows it, David is clutching onto his boyfriend’s shoulders, crying silently.

Matteo doesn’t say anything, he just holds David, one hand in David’s hair and the other one gently running up and down David’s back. The touch of his boyfriend’s hands grounds David, and although he can’t stop crying, he already feels the pain fading a little. 

David used to be afraid of people making fun of him for being weak if anyone ever saw him cry. However, all of that began to change when Matteo came to find David “underwater” and told him he’s not alone anymore. That was the first time David didn’t feel weak while tears were streaming down his face. Matteo neither mocked nor pitied him, he just listened to David and then gave him a reason to hope that things could be better. 

When David’s sobs eventually subside and he looks up, he notices Matteo somehow manoeuvred them inside the apartment. They’re in Matteo’s room now, and David breathes a sigh of relief as they sit down next to each other on Matteo’s bed.

Matteo leans his forehead to David’s and takes a deep breath. “Do you want to tell me?” he asks, his tone so casual David almost grins in spite of himself. Although David just basically broke down in his boyfriend’s arms, Matteo isn’t freaking out.

Sighing deeply, David cups Matteo’s neck with both hands and closes his eyes. “Give me a minute,” he breathes and before he can start worrying about what Matteo might be thinking, he feels his boyfriend’s lips on his own. It’s a short but very sweet kiss, followed by an even softer whisper.

“All the time you need.”

And so the two of them lie down on Matteo’s bed, Matteo on his back and David with his head on Matteo’s chest. For a while, David just breathes while Matteo draws soft patterns onto his back and whispers gentle words into David’s hair from time to time.

_ “Sei il uomo piu bello del mondo.” *1 _

_ “Ti amo esatto como sei.” *2 _

_ “Sono tanto contento che ti ho trovato.” *3 _

David doesn’t understand everything his boyfriend is saying. But the soft, gentle tone of Matteo’s voice makes David feel safe and warm, and he almost forgets why he was crying earlier.

Which is why it surprises David as much as Matteo when the words just … fall from his mouth.

“I saw my mum.”

David feels Matteo tense slightly, but his fingers don’t stop moving on David’s back. For a long moment, neither of them says anything, and David can almost hear Matteo’s mind working while he’s trying to think of what to say.

Some might think it’s annoying that it takes Matteo a while to find words sometimes. But David loves it. He adores that Matteo carefully weighs his thoughts and then takes his time to package them into the words that he’s sure will deliver the right message. Every time Matteo speaks after collecting his thoughts, David feels truly valued and taken seriously, something not many people have ever managed to make him feel.

“I’m assuming that didn’t go well,” Matteo finally says, his tone surprisingly unforgiving.

Letting out a long breath, David shakes his head. “She just … doesn’t get it,” he gets out then, looking up at Matteo, who bites his lower lip as if to hold back some harsh words directed at David’s mother.But he doesn’t say anything, so David clears his throat and goes on. 

“Laura and I ran away three years ago, and we hardly ever heard from our parents since. Mum wrote Laura a few angry emails, saying Laura ruined our family by  _ “playing along with my delusion,” _ but that was about it. Unfortunately, mum’s best friend lives in Berlin, so she is in town from time to time.”

David sighs deeply and starts drawing circles onto Matteo’s chest with one finger. “I haven’t seen her since I started getting regular T-shots, so …”

Swallowing hard, David closes his eyes. He can’t bring himself to go on. Repeating what his mother said to him is undoubtedly going to start the waterworks again. But before he can worry about Matteo asking him to elaborate, David feels Matteo’s lips touching his forehead.

The simple gesture almost makes David smile in spite of how awful he’s feeling right now. He can tell Matteo doesn’t know what to say, but he still feels reassured and comforted. 

For a moment, the two of them just breathe together in silence. Matteo’s fingers are still drawing patterns onto David’s spine, and they don’t stop, not even when David finally speaks again.

“I know my mum will never change, she told me that herself. But I wish I could just … stand up to her, you know? Just once I’d like to shut her up and tell her that I’m not sick, that I don’t need fixing, and that she’s the one who is broken for thinking I am.”

David’s voice starts shaking halfway through his last sentence, making him bite his lip. Matteo reaches for David’s hand on his chest and laces their fingers together, and then he finally speaks.

“You’re right. You’re not broken at all,” he says, slowly and deliberately, and when David looks up, he’s surprised to find Matteo smiling at him with - pride. No pity, no sadness, David only sees pride in his boyfriend’s eyes. “In fact, you may just be one of the most unbroken people I know,” Matteo adds then and leans forward to kiss the tip of David’s nose.

This time, David smiles for real, feeling like a heavy stone had just been lifted off his chest. “Thank you,” he says quietly and then lies back down on Matteo’s chest. Matteo wraps his arm around David’s shoulder and for a moment, they hold each other in silence again.

“Do you mind telling me what you would say?” Matteo asks eventually, his tone quiet and careful. David looks up at his boyfriend, pursing his lips for a moment.

Finally, David shrugs and lets out a long breath. “Just that, I guess. I’d say ‘Stop making this about you. And don’t try to fix me. I’m not broken.’ That kind of thing?”

David eyes Matteo hesitantly, not sure what to expect. However, he most certainly didn’t expect Matteo to nod slowly with an admiring expression on his face.

“Short and concise, I like it,” Matteo says then, running his fingers through David’s hair. 

And just like that, the knot in David’s chest loosens. It doesn’t go away entirely, but David realises once again that Matteo didn’t lie that day when he came to find him in that empty pool. 

David isn’t alone anymore. No matter what, Matteo has his back. 

With another deep sigh of relief, David buries his face at Matteo’s shoulder and closes his eyes. And while Matteo keeps drawing circles onto his back with soft fingers, David slowly drifts off into a peaceful slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> *1 "You're the most beautiful man in the world  
> *2 "I love you exactly the way you are."  
> *3 "I'm so happy I found you."
> 
> I welcome any kind of criticism and feedback, so please find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/julieseven) , [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/sue_1188/?hl=en) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Julieseven2) and let me know what you think, discuss with me and scream at me, whatever you want! Of course I also love comments and kudos, too!


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